There was a time in my life when I actually believed in Superman, followed by a time when I thought I had the potential to be a multitasking Superwoman and this was further followed by a time, where I did not even bother to be super anyway. Quite obviously I had entered my thirties.
I read somewhere that the 30s are more like a middle child. The disquiet teens and the ‘figuring out’ twenties are gone, the more sorted and calm forties are still on the distant shore, leaving the 30s much like an awkward adolescent struggling to find the elusive ‘balance’ and the perfect combination. Well more so in case of women. Almost every 30 something woman I know ( mostly married with kids) have to live under the annoying ‘ having it all’ shingle. The perfect mother, the ever-understanding wife, the efficient colleague and the kick-ass friend – she surely has high standards to meet. As for myself, until my late twenties I thought it is possible to do and have it all. But now I know it is not. At least not for me.
Out of the 6 – Career, Family, Fitness, Passion, Friends and Travel you can at the most afford a combination of three but not more than that. Someday one combination works and sometimes the other. That is for you to prioritise, to try different combinations and figure out what works best for you.
The other thing about thirties is being comfortable with oneself, discovering the joy of saying ‘no’, parting ways with your people pleasing self and letting go of people and situations that hold you back.
You take an audit of your life so far… Career, home, family, bank account. You take a hard look at yourself. Those fine little lines on your face and the shiny greys that peep through. One phrase to sum up my thirties…’You find your Fight’. May be you speak up more, may be you listen more often, may be you let it go, may be you make some changes or may be these changes happen to you. It is a whole lot of work, a crap-ton of stress but it is a time of sloughing it off and solidifying oneself.
Thirties taught me to be okay with being me. Slightly assymetric, a bit non conforming and largely unapologetic about it.
If you feel you too have a similar story please share it with us.
Love and luck